Prim Knickers and the Ministry of Silly Walks

Hello and welcome!

For the past two years I've been eBay blogger and blogger-in-chief at Shoetube. But I became so popular that things started to get weird over there and I'm spreading my wings solo (Read: The owners of Shoetube live in Boston and are relaunching the site locally. I live in Brooklyn, where it is tough to be the editor of a Boston shoe blog. The end).

So what does an ex shoe blog editor have to offer? Cautionary tales mostly. Like this one about knit leggings:

My gorgeous, disgustingly creative friend Sheena (that's her) is now on day 286 of The Uniform Project, one year in the same little black dress. Wonder woman that she is, she's posting photos of her accessorizing prowess to raise money for the Akanksha Foundation.

I'm completely entranced by the project, namely the way Sheena layers on cool legwear (so much so that I wrote about it for iVillage).

Naturally, when I saw a pair of chunky knit tights at Elegance that reminded me of a Sheena pair, I grabbed them. Who cares if they're one-size-fits-all and not especially stretchy? They're cute!

The next morning I ripped them open (no, I didn't wash them first... I know, I know) and pulled them on under a black sweater dress. Very Sheena-ish. They felt soft and warm and didn't squeeze my stomach or create any rolls. Time to convert to one-size-fits-all clothes forever! Until the crotch and waistband slowly crept down my body during my walk from the train to work. They continued this behavior all day, forcing frequent reverse wedgie stops in the bathroom. And finally on the way home, they dropped.

I was still seven blocks from my apartment when suddenly, the crotch was at my knees, the waistband at my thighs. Luckily, my coat just covered the wreckage.


The whole mess would be at my ankles the second I stopped walking, so I went faster. They kept on sinking until I was channeling John Cleese and the Ministry of Silly Walks, taking huge speed steps, laughing uncontrollably and looking much, much crazier than if I had just stopped to pull the damn things up.


Still, they are comfy, so I kept them and took them in. But if I could do it again, I'd go for the Rugby Striped Tight from Urban Outfitters, which thankfully, come in two sizes.